I have moved. =)

I was having a bit of a meltdown the other day over our wedding preparations. I started thinking of too many things, and before I know it, I was in a panic mode and wide awake at 6 am. I switched my laptop back on, and started sending emails out to various people. I emailed J's work email to let him know I'm panicking whilst he's happily asleep.

When I finally fell back to sleep and woke up the next day, I read J's reply which said "The day will happen whatever the case may be... Don't worry. Even if there are no invite cards, the photographer does not show up... the day will still go on. As long as you and me turn up at church it will be A-Ok."

Yes, it will still go on and it doesn't have to be perfect. I was beaming after reading that, and I wondered why men do not panic over wedding preparations.

Because this year is suppose to be a year of changes, I thought I should set some minor goals for myself and to remember what I have achieved thus far.

January
The year started with me at a crossroad, receiving terrible news and having many thoughts run through my head. When I have decided not to go ahead with it, it felt like I was giving up the dream that I had set for myself since secondary school days. I feel incomplete, and I could not tick off my To-do list. And now it looks like I have to strike it out altogether which made me feel very bummed out. On one hand, I am more settled than I was a few years ago, but on the other, I felt unaccomplished and that thought of "regret" is hanging over my head. There were times when I wished I could turn back time, and did all those things I had dreamt about. Maybe there's still a chance. Or something I can do that is of a similar vein to my dream. I'll cross my fingers.

January was also the time when J and I bought something big together. I guess we are finally at that point where we are ready to be in debt together.


Meet Bambi McQueen

February
The second month of the year was mainly about feasting. I don't remember many things happening apart from eating plenty. I did receive a piece of good news which delighted J a lot because he thinks he can finally have his retirement plan set in motion. The keyword here is "thinks".

The most memorable thing that occurred during this time was when I reconnected with my cousins. I am not sure if it was because they were much younger, or we didn't have that many things in common back then, but I'm glad we met up for breakfast one Saturday. We sat in the cafe for hours just talking, and I wondered why didn't we do this earlier. After this session, we promised to meet up at least once a month and we have been chatting on facebook ever since.

March
I became extremely busy at work. 26th Feb and 1st Mar was remarkably different. I am now constantly bombarded with too much information coming from everywhere, and too many things on my plate. However, this was the time when my perception changed and I felt more alive than before and felt better at work. It was like a giant dark cloud has been lifted above my head.

March was THE month when Justin and I become engaged. Even though we have been talking about it all the time (it was more about reaching a consensus on how big my diamond should be =p), it still took some time for that piece of news to sink in. Engaged! After twelve years?! Surreal, I tell ya. I also spent a considerable amount of time smiling like a silly goose just staring at the ring on my finger. Have I told you it's surreal?

So now that we have settled on a date, there's no turning back. Plans are in motion and I have been talking everyday to my friends about weddings. I have always scoffed at brides-to-be who fill their minds with nothing but wedding plans, and needless to say, it struck me hard when I realised I have become one of them. *groans* We have also been house-hunting and it has proven to be a real tiring affair. Planning for a wedding and looking for a place to stay at the same time is a nightmare! I hope we'll have a lucky break soon and find the perfect place for our nest! *crosses fingers*

Busy time ahead. Till then.

Today marks our 12th anniversary of us being a couple and I have received the best anniversary gift of all. Plans have been set in motion and though it will be an extremely hectic few months, I'm very excited about this new journey that we are about to embark on and looking forward to a different life together!

Ok, enough mush. Time to switch to crazy woman mode.


I'm all set!

BAH.

It is not a secret that I have been feeling out of sorts at work for the longest time. There have just been too many unjust deeds, too many idiots, and idiots who cannot recognise the idiots. The only reason I've stayed on was because I was given an opportunity I deserve.

An incident happened on 11th March that involved a misguided decision and hurting the feelings of a few at work. It was something I had to mediate, and while it was resolved pretty quickly, this incident set me thinking. I thought about the past and what I want out of this new experience. I now have that slight power to help others, but I could choose to sit back, not care, and feel crappy each time I go to work, or I could face each day with a smile. I chose the latter, and I woke up the next day feeling lighter and happier. It was generally a great day at work, and to top it off, a surprise was waiting for me back home.

In short, I have the small sparkle in my eye back, and a sparkle on my finger. Ain't life grand? =)

...is a fantastic day. I hope I will never forget it.

=)

I am in such a strange place at work right now. On one hand, this feeling of excitement is slowly starting to creep up whenever I think of the new projects that are going to happen. On the other hand, I get pissed off by every little thing the moment I step into the office. Weird people, stupid people, bootlickers, annoying emails. You name it, I'll probably be pissed at it.

Dilemma.